for love of a boy

I don't know that I've outright said this yet in any blog entries so far, but our little guy, D, is adopted. Some day I will have to tell the tale, the intricate, mind-blowing series of events that led to his arrival in our arms and hearts. It's a wonderful story--much bigger and more beautiful than I could have fathomed or orchestrated. That last word is important, for over the course of the nine years it took to reach D, we tried to orchestrate, arrange, everything that we could. Indeed we were under the impression that if we just tried hard enough, explored every available option known to man, we could bring about a family. I'm here today to testify that while B and I had decisions to make and  roles to play, the way it was all woven together was done by a hand more masterful than ours. I will never forget that fact. Indeed it has permanently shaped my perspective on life going forward. I know deep down in my knower that there is a master plan and a Master Planner and my greatest task in this life will always be the hardest: trust.

Anyway, having said all this, what brought me to this topic today is the joy and sincere love flooding my heart for the young woman who brought D into this world. We had the chance to meet up with her recently and I was reminded afresh how remarkable she is. B and I loved her the moment we met, one year ago this month. She literally blew our minds with her confidence, vulnerability, wit, charm, intelligence and level-headedness. Her love for the life being knitted in her womb was obvious. When she told us at the end of our meeting that she had chosen us to be his family, it was the most remarkable thing I have ever heard. It was a moment above moments, truly transcendent.

Even after such a transcendent moment, followed by additional moments leading up to and including D's birth, I found myself nervous prior to our recent get-together. It took all of a minute and a half, if that, to dissipate once we were all in the same room. Truth is I would like D's birthmum even if I had met her under different circumstances. She's just plain cool. What's such a gift to me is that she is the woman I get to share a most unique bond with all the days of my life. It's a bizarre thing really, how two women with no previous knowledge of each other's existence find their hearts tethered together by a shared cord. I'm not trying to make a blanket statement about how I think all adoption relationships should look. For indeed they are undoubtedly as varied and unique as all other relationships on this planet. I'm merely sharing my gratitude for knowing such a young woman as this...and that we shall always have between us immense love for a boy.